Mixed Signals: Looking For Intimacy, No Commitment, But Not Into One-Night Stands

Image Credit, Frank Reppold

Ladies, let’s talk about your dating app profile. If your goal is to send more mixed signals than a malfunctioning traffic light, you’re on the right track. Imagine this profile: “Looking for intimacy, no commitment. Not into one-night stands or players. Want Chevrolet hand holding and all the good stuff.” Congratulations, you’ve just created the dating equivalent of a Rubik’s Cube! But let’s break it down and have some fun.

So, you say you want intimacy with no commitment. Cue the guys thinking, “Ah, a casual fling! Perfect.” But then, you throw in that you’re not into one-night stands or players. Hold up. That’s like saying you want a burger without the bun but absolutely no lettuce wrap. Now, they’re imagining a mysterious middle ground—somewhere between a fleeting hookup and a full-blown relationship. Maybe a fortnight fling? Who knows!

And then you toss in that you want “all the good stuff” like Chevrolet hand-holding. What’s the good stuff? Romantic picnics? Heartfelt conversations about whether pineapple belongs on pizza? Or maybe it’s just a slow dance under the stars, like a scene from a Nicholas Sparks novel. The possibilities are endless, and so are the head-scratching moments for any guy reading your profile.

Here’s where the fun begins. By sending these mixed signals, you’re opening the floodgates to a variety of suitors. You’ll get the commitment-phobes who think they’ve hit the jackpot, the hopeless romantics who are up for the challenge, and the utterly confused who just have to know more. It’s like a dating app lottery, and your profile is the winning ticket!

But let’s be real—no guy actually wants mixed signals. They want to know if they’re signing up for a casual coffee date or a lifelong commitment to Sunday brunches. So why keep them in suspense? Because it’s hilarious! Watching them try to decode your intentions is like watching a cat chase a laser pointer. It’s endlessly entertaining and a great way to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Plus, think of the conversations this will spark. “So, when you said intimacy with no commitment, did you mean a month-long snuggle fest or just a really intense game of Scrabble?” You’ll never run out of things to talk about. And hey, if someone manages to navigate your mixed signal maze and still wants to meet up, they might just be worth your time.

In the end, mixed signals might not be the path to a clear, straightforward relationship, but they sure do make the dating game more interesting. So go ahead, craft that enigmatic profile and watch the messages roll in. Just remember to keep it fun, keep it light, and maybe, just maybe, drop a few hints along the way to avoid total confusion. Happy swiping!