“Ladies, ‘I Want to Be Chased’ Is Just Code for ‘Waste My Time’—And No Guy Wants That”

Image Credit, Long Pham

Ladies, let’s have a little chat about this whole “I’m a traditional woman who wants to be chased, courted, and pursued” thing. Because I hate to break it to you, but in man-English, this translates to:

“I want you to spend an Olympic-level amount of time, effort, and money chasing me like I’m the last avocado at Whole Foods, only for me to decide three weeks in that I just ‘don’t feel a spark.’”

Yeah. No.

Look, chivalry isn’t dead, but dating isn’t a medieval jousting match either. No one is out here trying to quest for you, slay dragons, and present you with a token of affection just for the grand reward of texting you goodnight. If you’re treating this like a game of tag where you get to stand still and wait for someone to come running at you, don’t be surprised when no one wants to play.

Men are already dealing with one billion dating apps, an infinite supply of rejection, and people who ghost faster than Casper on a sugar high. They don’t want to spend six months sending good morning texts, planning elaborate dates, and proving their worth only for you to hit them with, “I just don’t see you that way.”

And let’s be real—are you out here chasing men? No? So why do you expect them to love the chase when you wouldn’t even do it yourself?

Modern dating is a two-way street. You don’t have to throw yourself at men, but at least let them know you’re interested. If a guy has to play Sherlock Holmes to figure out whether you like him, he’s just gonna move on. Ain’t nobody got time for mystery novel romance in the age of instant gratification.

So, update those profiles, ladies. Because “I want to be chased” is basically code for “I want to waste your time.” And guess what? No one’s signing up for that.