Why Your Dating Profile Screams “Run for the Hills” (and How to Fix It)

Image Credit: Renata Re

Online dating is like walking through a massive digital bar. Everyone’s shouting over the music with their best pickup lines, trying to look appealing, while also hoping not to step on any emotional landmines. And nothing clears the room faster than the woman whose profile kicks off with: “All men are jerks, liars, cheaters, and probably useless.” That’s not a bio—that’s a warning label. Nobody’s lining up to buy a bottle of wine that says “tastes like poison” right on the cork.

Now, let’s talk BBW profiles, because this is where the comedy writes itself. Being a proud, confident BBW? Amazing. Owning your curves? Magnetic. Declaring “must love a mom bod” as a vibe? Honestly, that’s funny, flirty, and it works if you say it with confidence. But when you take that sexy, confident energy and immediately drown it under “I hate the gym, I’m not active, I’m not screaming girlfriend or marriage material,” what you’re actually doing is setting off red flags and smoke signals like you’re trying to warn ships away from crashing into your shore.

Here’s the brutal truth: saying “I don’t love the gym” isn’t confidence—it’s defensiveness. It doesn’t scream, “I’m proud of who I am.” It screams, “Don’t you dare question me about health or fitness because I’m already ready for the fight.” And guess what? Men don’t want to fight in your bio. They haven’t even had the chance to compliment your smile yet, and you’ve already written a manifesto against them.

It also creates a trap. Because by announcing “I hate the gym” like it’s your personal battle cry, you’re basically saying, “If you’re into fitness, keep walking.” And let’s be honest—if a guy happens to be fit and actually is attracted to your BBW curves, you’re probably going to make his life miserable anyway, constantly side-eyeing him and asking, “Why are you even talking to me? You belong with a gym girl.” That’s not confidence. That’s self-sabotage with a side of insecurity.

And here’s the kicker—when you frame yourself as inactive, unmotivated, and carrying emotional baggage, you’re also signaling that the kind of guy you’re looking for is…a slouch. A dude who’s just as unmotivated, unfit, and disinterested in his health as you claim to be. And if that’s truly what you want, fine. But don’t expect the fit, ambitious, confident guy to swipe right if your bio is basically saying, “This ship only welcomes passengers who have already given up on leg day.”

Confidence isn’t about tearing down gyms, or announcing what you hate, or preemptively trashing men before they even message you. Confidence is about flipping the script. Instead of “I’m not into the gym,” how about: “I’m a mom-bod goddess who knows her worth. Must love curves, tacos, and laughing until it hurts.” That’s sexy. That’s funny. That’s self-assured. It tells a guy, “I know who I am, I love it, and if you can’t handle it, the exit’s that way.”

Because at the end of the day, men swipe right for women who radiate fun, energy, and authenticity. They swipe left on bios that read like restraining orders and angry Yelp reviews. If you want attention, stop writing like you’re prepping for divorce court and start writing like you’re inviting someone into a good time. Proud BBW with a mom bod? Amazing. Leading with bitterness and “screw off if you don’t like it”? Not amazing. The first one gets you a date. The second one gets you more time alone with Netflix wondering why no one’s swiping.

So go ahead, own your body, own your confidence, and demand someone who loves a mom bod—but for the love of dating apps everywhere, stop scaring away the men who might actually love you exactly as you are.