Image Credit, Jones Wick
Alright ladies, gather ‘round. We need to talk about this growing epidemic in the wild world of dating apps. It’s called Casual But Also Monogamous and Loyal Syndrome—and it’s got y’all out here sounding like you’re ordering from a relationship combo menu that doesn’t exist.
Let’s paint the picture.
You write in your bio: “Just looking for something casual. Not into drama. Good vibes only.” Cool. Love that for you.
But then five messages in, you’re asking him:
- “So… are you talking to other people?”
- “What are we?”
- “Why did you like that girl’s selfie from 2019?”
- “Why didn’t you FaceTime me last night before bed like you said?”
Ma’am. You said casual.
And look, there’s no shame in wanting loyalty, exclusivity, and a man who won’t disappear like a Snapchat after 10 seconds. But if you’re asking for monogamy, emotional connection, future plans, and daily good morning texts—guess what? You’re not looking for something casual. You’re looking for a boyfriend with a fake mustache who pretends he’s “not official.”
You can’t order a McFlurry and expect it to come with a diamond ring and a key to his apartment. Life doesn’t work that way. Not even on Tinder.
Here’s what guys hear when you say “casual”:
- “Low maintenance.”
- “No expectations.”
- “No, I don’t care if you respond in four business days.”
- “Sleepover? Only if we both feel like it after tequila.”
So if deep down what you really want is someone to be loyal to only you, delete his apps, remember your cat’s birthday, and help you assemble IKEA furniture on Sunday mornings—say that. Don’t confuse the poor man. We’re not mind readers. Some of us are still trying to decode the difference between “K” and “kk.”
Bottom line:
Don’t say casual if you mean committed.
Don’t say you’re chill if you plan to investigate his followers like an unpaid FBI intern.
And definitely don’t expect exclusive loyalty from a man you told, explicitly, that you wanted something “light and fun.”
You can’t be out here telling dudes “no pressure, let’s just vibe” and then file an internal complaint when he’s out here… vibing.
Dating is confusing enough. Help us help you.
Pick a lane—casual, committed, or just here for the memes—and put your blinker on early.
Love yourself. Love your truth. And stop lying to both of you.
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