Ladies, No One Wants a Pen Pal: How to Stop Texting and Start Connecting

Image Credit, Gracini Studios

Online dating has officially become the Twilight Zone of human interaction. Once upon a time, when people liked someone, they picked up the phone, dialed their number, and had an actual conversation. Yes, an honest-to-goodness talk where you could hear their voice, not decipher their personality through a series of emojis and “lol” responses. Fast forward to the Zoom era, when the world learned to embrace showing up on camera in pajamas, and suddenly, video chats weren’t just normal—they were cool.

Now? We’ve somehow regressed into a bizarre realm where people want to find love but refuse to communicate like functioning adults. Ladies, I’m talking to you. You’re out here screaming about not wanting to be catfished, yet when a guy offers to video chat to prove he’s not a thumb with a Wi-Fi connection, you recoil like he asked for your social insurance number.

Let’s break this down. Texting is cute at first—it’s like dipping your toe into the dating pool. But staying there forever is like refusing to swim and then wondering why you’re not having fun. You can’t build a connection by exchanging “wyd?” and “nm u?” every 72 hours. It’s giving all the excitement of a beige wall. And the worst part? When a guy says, “Hey, let’s hop on a quick video call,” instead of thinking, Wow, what a great way to verify he’s not an AI-generated scammer, some of you hit him with, “Why would I want to video chat you?” Girl. GIRL.

If you’re scared of awkwardness, newsflash: dating is awkward. First dates are awkward. Meeting his dog and finding out it hates you? Awkward. Awkward is the price of admission for this wild ride called love. And honestly, what’s worse: ten minutes of awkward video chatting or three weeks of texting only to find out he looks nothing like his profile picture and has the conversational skills of a tree stump?

This isn’t about turning every text into a Shakespearean sonnet. It’s about effort. If you’re giving one-word replies, responding at the speed of a glacier, and treating video chats like they’re invasive medical procedures, you’re sabotaging yourself. You’re on these apps to meet someone, not start a pen pal program for socially unavailable men.

Ladies, it’s time to up your game. Accept the video calls. Respond to texts like you actually want to talk to the person. And for the love of Wi-Fi, stop treating every interaction like an audition for the world’s most boring reality show. Because right now, some of you are out here giving all the romantic energy of a soggy breadstick, and you deserve better than that. So do they.

Remember, this isn’t 1998, and you’re not downloading love on dial-up. Step it up. Or hey, maybe just date your phone. It’s clearly who you’re most comfortable talking to anyway.