The Housing Logic Test

Image Credit: Scott Webb

Here’s a gentle, loving, absolutely necessary dating app tip for women everywhere: before you swipe left on a man because he “still lives with his mother,” please pause, breathe, and apply the Housing Logic Test.

Because somehow, in the modern dating ecosystem, we’ve created a fascinating paradox.

A man lives with his mother and suddenly it’s, “Ugh, no ambition. No independence. Red flag.” You picture him eating cereal at noon, folding laundry wrong, and asking permission to use the car. Immediate disqualification.

But then… along comes a married man. A man who lives with his wife. In a home they share. With matching towels. Possibly children. And somehow this becomes, “It’s complicated. He’s emotionally unavailable but misunderstood. He’s basically single in spirit.”

Ma’am.

You won’t date a man who lives with the woman who gave him life, but you will date a man who lives with the woman who can legally take half his assets, his pension, his house, and his soul with one well-timed discovery?

The man living with his mother is upfront. His profile basically says, “Yes, I live at home. Yes, she knows where I am. No, I am not sneaking around.” He has nothing to hide except maybe his childhood bedroom décor.

The married man, on the other hand, has to text like he’s defusing a bomb. Messages deleted. Calls answered in the driveway. Dates scheduled between “errands.” His phone lighting up causes visible fear. He doesn’t say goodnight—he says, “I’ll text you when I can.”

One man has a mother who might ask if you’re hungry.
The other has a wife who might ask why your name just popped up on his screen.

And let’s be honest: the “lives with mom” guy might be saving money, regrouping, or helping family. The “lives with wife” guy is not transitioning. He is fully installed. That man is not in between places—he is in between lies.

So here’s your revised dating app advice: if a man living with his mother is an automatic no, but a man living with his wife feels like an adventure, your issue isn’t standards. It’s math. Very bad math.

Because one situation ends with awkward Sunday dinners.
The other ends with screenshots, explanations, and a sudden appreciation for privacy settings.

Swipe wisely.